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The Exit Strategy & Other First Date Tips That Work
Monday, October 20, 2014 |
| Photo Credit: "When Harry Met Sally" |
- Prepare - The reason most first dates seem awkward or nerve-wrecking is because you may not know the other person well. Add to that the pressure to make a connection, say the "right things" or develop chemistry. I always advise my clients to touch base with their date at least 2 or 3 days before the date. One way to ensure a great first date is to make a connection with the woman beforehand. Text her a quick hello or pick up the phone and put in a quick call to see how her day is going and let her know you are looking forward to seeing her. If you can't connect with her on the phone, don't expect to connect in person either. But if you do, your first date will fly by a lot smoother.
- Be punctual -- Being on time for a date shows her you respect her time and regard her enough that you have carved out time in your busy schedule to be with her. The is the best time to start a date is on time.
- Always have an exit strategy -- Not all first dates are great dates. Even if yours is, you should always have a Plan B in place. Notify your date early on that you have something else to do after your date. If things aren't going your way on the date, you have a valid excuse to make a fast and clean exit. Maybe you have "friend's birthday," an "early morning meeting" or you have to "walk your neighbor's dog while they're on holiday". Whatever the case, even if you are having the best date ever, it's still a good idea to leave on a high note. Let the good memories linger. This way your date will be left wanting more of you.
- Dress to impress -- How you see yourself is how women will see in you as well. Even if your day to day outfit is a hoodie and jean, women appreciate when a man puts in the extra effort for them. Clean shoes, hemmed trousers and a wrinkle-free show you hold yourself to high standards. How you dress is part of your overall package. For more information about my personal styling and date coaching services click here.
- Eat something -- Many of my clients consider first drink dates to be a safer, less expensive investment. If they find themselves on a date from hell, they they can bail after the first round. However, research shows that people become fonder of the people they are with and things experience while eating. If dinner is too heavy, try a lunch date, cooking class or food-related activity. Foods of New York Tours offers food tasting walking tours through NYC neighborhoods from $49 per person and for something more upscale, Le Cirque offers cooking classes.
- Drink in moderation -- While alcohol helps reduce inhibitions and first date jitters, it also clouds judgement, turns off women and when consumed in large quantities can allude to bigger problems. The purpose for the first date is to get to know one other better, and to secure future dates. Make sure she sees the real you, not the inebriated you.
- Avoid taboo topics -- Ex-lovers, politics, sensitive religious issues and negative experiences should not be discussed on the first date, for obvious reasons. It's a first date, not a therapy session. If a woman's political or religious persuasions are pivotal details for you, it is best to broach these topics before the first date. On the other hand, travel, hobbies, pets, favorite things, future goals and asking for advice on a neutral subject are great conversation starters.
- Offer to pick up the check -- If a woman wants to pay her share of the bill, she will counter your offer to pick up her tab and you should allow her. Women always appreciate a man who offers to treat. , Offering to split the bill doesn't make you look like a charming revolutionary man who is empathetic about women's equality or endorsing some feminist cause. Instead, women will think you are cheap. Cheap never gets a second date. If you are on a tight budget, be honest about it. If she is into to you -- as opposed to your money -- she will understand. Look for restaurant deals, arrange a lunch date, offer to cook at home or invite her to a free concert.
